analyse my poem.

i can't explain how i feel without knowing,
i can't live without showing i don't want to,
i can't finish a sentence without your name being in it,
and i can't swim without drowning first,

i fail and give up without trying,
im falling and feel like im dying,
the silence it the reason im crying,
thinking of ways that i could be smiling.

here standing in the cold autumn rain,
listening to music and erasing the pain,
re living the nightmares that are my life,
and trying to live but not be