Can someone me out with my thesis statement!

the minimum legal drinking age should not be lowered, but to remain 21 for safety reasons. due to seek of the public issues, therefore, other laws are addressing this issue. there are people supporting the drinking age to remain at 21 to lower how much underage drinking occurs and for not letting them to die from binge drinking.

Usually, when people talk about "rocky” relationships, it’s with a frown, but mine has enriched my life. i became fascinated with rocks when i was really young, and throughout my childhood you could usually find me with my pockets bulging from whatever stony treasures i’d scavenged that day. when my science teacher taught us a unit on geology, i realized that my fascination could become an exciting career that could also me make good money. obtaining an internship to work on the geological exhibit at the museum is an important step on my road to being a geologist. the best description of the writer’s point of view is that the person is eager to make a lot of money in a museum internship. insistent that geology should be taught as part of every science course. hopeful to be able to further the goal of eventually becoming a geologist. concerned that people do not generally relate well to the study of geology.

This excerpt is repeated several times. what effect does this repetition have on the epic

What is the best way to revise sentence number (12)