This is my spanish assignement. Please tell me if it makes sense and if it don't can you edit it for me

I would add more words to make it seem mire full and less robotic in the spots I highlighted In blue. Maybe after "Maria meets Alberto” you can add her feelings towards him like Maria meets Alberto and immediately becomes infatuated with him. They build a seemingly happy family, with Maria being ecstatic with her new life; Alberto on the other hand is not. He plans to meet another women behind Maria’s back despite already having Maria and his three children. Maria later finds out about his infidelity and takes her rage out on the children by drowning them in the river; while doing so she slipped and fell to her own death.

Yo escondi mis notas.

Es mejor que abras una cuenta