Why was george washington relvotant ( unsure doubful about ) to lead the continental army?

 when Washington sat down and wrote a letter to his wife, Martha,he thought that this wasent oing to be enough in which he revealed his concerns about his new role. He admitted to his “dear Patcy” that he had not sought the post but felt “it was utterly out of my power to refuse this appointment without exposing my Character to such censures as would have reflected dishonour upon myself, and given pain to my friends.”