Was the white south ever really defeated in spirit? would the results have been more satisfactory from its point of view if it accepted the rule of the conqueror with better grace?

The white southerners were never spiritually defeated. The efforts in keeping the "lost causes" agenda was upheld by the "former" confederates. This is proven in the lack of acceptance of the emaciation of blacks. Former confederates continued to believe their views of secession was correct. As emancipated slave's tried to enjoy their freedom, the former white slave owners would destroy their merriness by putting shackles back on their thawing limbs.The many whites did not want to accept the thirteenth amendment. To validate the slaves freedom congress passed the Freedmen's Bureau, however in the hands of southern white supremeness, this was also scoffed at and mistreated towards the blacks. The views of the former confederates on the outcome of the war would not have been any different if they gracefully accepted it or not. The 11 southern states succeeded to create an individual sovereignty opposed to the north, the fact that they were dragged back to the union under defeat and were force to abide by northern rule, was a displeasure to white southerners.