PLEASE HELPP MEEE ASAP

Um yea this might be weird to say up here but me and my girl got freaky and shoved a bottle up my but thole and now is stuck. so what do i do?

Iused st ives green tea face scrub and washed it off, but i got a tiny taste of something when i licked my lips 30-60 seconds later? it's not likely that i actually swallowed anything, right? or that this will make me sick?

Which of the following is an example of loss? losing an expensive watch moving away from home for the first time being denied a credit card breaking an ankle