If you fear you have been abusive to a partner

Make a huge effort to not hurt them physically and emotionally because who knows... there's no point of return after the damage is done

talk to them how you feel and get help like counseling

try to  change ur reaction with anything that upsets you by going out and cooling down, then talk without making the partner feel intimidated

try to see ur abuse in their point of view, how would you feel if someone was acting like you are to your sister/brother or mom/dad

what are the choices?

steady state because it the only on that maes sense