Can someone translate this from

en commençant ce récit, il est inutile que j'avertisse le lecteur que je suis laide ; le titre seul de cet ouvrage le lui a appris. mais ce qu'il ne sait pas, c'est que je l'ai
toujours été. aur i tanement en toutes lettres

When I begin this account, there is no need for me to warn the reader that I am ugly; the title of this book alone taught him that. But what he doesn't know is that I got him

always summer. ur i tanement in full

When I begin this account, there is no need for me to warn the reader that I am ugly; the title of this book alone taught him that. But what he doesn't know is that I got him

always summer. [...] aur i tanement in full

Explanation:

answer:

2 gallons of pickles

explanation:

answer:

tell him to chill

Explanation: