subject
English, 02.08.2021 17:10 sierranowe2003

Compared to the dialogue that makes up most of the excerpt, which unfolds in real time, the paragraph below is fast paced, covering many events into a very short passage. Write your own version of this paragraph, revising the pacing so that it unfolds more slowly and describes the scene with more details. As you write, remember to: Flesh out scene the with effective word choice and vivid description
Using Effective Word Choice and Vivid Description

Choose specific words and avoid vague ones:

vague: he left
specific: he trotted off
vague: look
specific: glance
Choose details that help the appeal to the five senses:

a man’s voice, soft and deep
crisp, white dinner jacket
.
Maintain the style and tone that the author has established.
Use a variety of phrases and dependent clauses to slow down the pacing and add details.
A man’s voice beside her made her start and turn. She had noticed the speaker more than once amongst the first-class passengers. There had been a hint of mystery about him which had appealed to her imagination. He spoke to no one. If anyone spoke to him he was quick to rebuff the overture. Also he had a nervous way of looking over his shoulder with a swift, suspicious glance.

PLATO
Beside her a man’s voice, soft and deep, made her start and turn. She had noticed the speaker amongst the first-class passengers. In fact, she had caught herself staring at him more than once. Something intrigued her about the way he looked at ease lounging in his crisp white dinner jacket, yet he periodically cast nervous glances over his shoulder. The young woman had tried to sit next to him, hoping to engage him in a conversation. After all, he was closer to her in age than many of the other passengers, and he was obviously traveling alone. But no sooner had she sat down than he popped up and trotted away. And did she imagine things, or had two rather tough-looking men—definitely not first class—hurried after him? She resolved to tell him about those men when next she saw him. The next day she found him on deck, dressed elegantly in tennis whites, yet also stressed. But as she approached, a page handed him a message and he rushed up the grand staircase with the grace of a gazelle. After all of that, here he was, desperate to talk to her.

ansver
Answers: 1

Another question on English

question
English, 21.06.2019 18:00
The wizard of oz provides an example of a universal idea that connects with most readers. dorothy is lost in oz. during her journey, she comes to understand that there is no place like home. the author, l. frank baum, includes colorful descriptions to readers picture the strange place where dorothy has landed. this to convey the feeling of being lost. most readers can relate to this feeling through a variety of personal experiences. this universal truth allows readers to connect to the character, and in turn to feel less lonely and isolated themselves. which literary terms should be included in this body paragraph? check all that apply. characterization imagery irony theme setting
Answers: 3
question
English, 21.06.2019 19:00
Why does the author introduce druse as lying in a “clump of laurel”? consider any symbolic or cultural meanings associated with this plant, and what significance it lends to this particular story. story "a horseman in the sky"
Answers: 2
question
English, 22.06.2019 01:30
Read the passage. and thus they fought all the long day, and never stinted till the noble knights were laid to the cold earth. and ever they fought still till it was near night, and by then was there a hundred thousand laid dead upon the down. in the passage from morte d’arthur by sir thomas malory, what are the bolded words an example of?
Answers: 1
question
English, 22.06.2019 04:20
Define the followings summary main idea paragraph i need a answers right now
Answers: 1
You know the right answer?
Compared to the dialogue that makes up most of the excerpt, which unfolds in real time, the paragrap...
Questions
question
Mathematics, 23.02.2021 06:30
question
Engineering, 23.02.2021 06:30