So i need to revise my report i have my report and what to do to revise it so can someone revise it i know its alot to do but will the points make up for all the work?.. My report is the 2nd picture

Perfect essay no revision needed

I think it looks great but I feel like it may need some organization! You talked about appearance and health in several different areas of your essay which is a great point but i think you should group those points into a single paragraph rather than spread them out! Also try using direct quotes from your sources to strengthen the argument you’re trying to make. Also most of these “paragraphs” aren’t long enough and may knock off credits! my high school teachers normally knock off points for paragraphs with less than 5 sentences so keep that in mind!