Im so afraid of losing him. my best friend. i'm so afraid i'm going to get a call that he crashed his car. if I got that call I would run out of my house and drive to wherever it was- wherever he is and just run to him. there is nothing that could stop me. nothing could ever keep me from him except for him.
i know that will never happen but he likes to drink and he loves to drive. he loves to drift and to go over 100.
it scares me so much. i already lost one family member to a car crash. i can't lose him too. he's the person who has kept me here and grounded me through so much dark stuff.
i know none of that will happen. i just needed to type it and get it out of my head.
i just don't want to lose him. he'll leave for college eventually. this summer maybe.
i want him so badly. just to hold. just to hug. just to cuddle with. to laugh with.
he gives the best hugs.
he's so tall and I'm so short so he presses his head to the top of mine and smells my hair.
he can feel my heartbeat when we hug like that. and i can hear his heart beating when we hug like that.
then when he picks me up in the hug where i wrap my legs around him, i just get to feel him.
i get to feel safe.
his warmth.
i am so so scared of losing him.
ight i typed too much and no one cares.
free points. goodnight.
This is for my English class, they told us to do anonymous "confessions".
not really.