Example sentence of concise

concise:

In high school, during 3 years on the student council, I saw students enthusiasm destroyed by insecure teachers and cynical administrators.

regular setence:

in high school, where I had the opportunity for 3 years of working with the student government, I realized how significantly a person is enthusiasm can be destroyed merely by the attitudes of his superiors

right

explanation:

the future of her and bobby i think is her name got this book 1 year ago forgot her name but yeah

hope i you : )