Please give me a funny speech that is original and reaches up to a reading time of 2 mins. Tysm :)

My fellow homosapiens, I think cats should be considered emotional disordered dogs. I think this because cats act like dogs but more emotionally and you can tell by the way they walk. They walk with grace. They also jump with grace. They fall with grace. Dogs can do that but less emotionally and cuter. Cats even get scared with grace like dogs do. Both of them make a beautiful screech as they either fly through the air or flipping all over the place. Cats can also be considered dogs because all they want is to lay around or food. My dear fellow homosapiens I hope you reconsidered this informational important speech and choose to follow this decision. Thank you for summoning me my child.

Explanation:

intonation based on rhythm.

love, how my life is right now. you can be loved and can love others. sometimes you dont feel loved right now, dont worry, someone out there is loving you while you are away.