HURRY PLEASE read an article from the onion and analyze it CHICAGO—As the city grappled with measures that would adequately address the infectious disease’s unchecked spread, rising coronavirus cases forced Chicago this week to set up temporary bars in hospitals. “With more Chicagoans testing positive and requiring medical care, we have no choice but to fight this thing by adding more bars and restaurants to the city’s medical facilities, including emergency tents for crowded eateries and transforming wards normally used for surgery patients into makeshift taverns,” said Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot, adding that if the number of hospital admissions continued to rise, the city would be forced to put nurses who had tested positive for coronavirus but were asymptomatic back to work taking drink orders. “Of course, we’ll encourage all of our in-hospital cafes, dive bars, and barbecue joints to comply with local mask orders, including having patrons wear your mask when your server is delivering appetizers to your bedside or on any trips to the bathroom that pass by the intensive-care unit. We will also close them at 11 p. m. every night to ensure we don’t spread coronavirus any more than we have to. During this troubling time, we’re doing everything we can, so we also ask everyone to remain calm. This is an emergency situation, and we may run out of critical supplies like tequila and limes.” Lightfoot added that if the coronavirus spread could not be contained, Chicago officials would be forced to turn some of the city’s parks and beaches into pop-up hospital bars.

(and yes this is a fake article)

Use at least two of the satirical rhetorical strategies in the essay.

Label the different parts of the stage. downstage stage left audience stage right upstage

Select the correct answer. in this excerpt from "a modest proposal" by johnathan swift, what does the author list? i can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, unless it should be urged, that the number of people will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. this i freely own, and 'twas indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. i desire the reader will observe, that i calculate my remedy for this one individual kingdom of ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, i think, ever can be upon earth. therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound: of using neither cloaths, nor houshold furniture, except what is of our own growth and manufacture: of utterly rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: of curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence and temperance: of learning to love our country, wherein we differ even from laplanders, and the inhabitants of topinamboo: of quitting our animosities and factions, nor acting any longer like the jews, who were murdering one another at the very moment their city was taken: of being a little cautious not to sell our country and consciences for nothing: of teaching landlords to have at least one degree of mercy towards their tenants. lastly, of putting a spirit of honesty, industry, and skill into our shop-keepers, who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to it.a. reforms that had failed to improve ireland's situation b. the unrealistic measures discussed by irish government officials c. viable measures that could improve ireland's situation d. measures that would unify the populace of ireland

It was this unfathomable longing of the soul to vex itself- to offer violence to its own nature -- to do wrong forthe wrong's sake only - that urged me to continue andfinally to consummate the injury i had inflicted upon theunoffending brute.which theme does this sentence best support? ) a. humans are to struggle against their fate.b. all people have a wicked side.c. humans are meant to rule earth.od. no wrong will go unpunished.submit