Be smart not fast
Explanation:
You put the body in the rubbish bit by bit. If you were to manage to cram a body into a wheelie bin, the dustmen might open the bin to check inside if there was something worth stealing. You don't want that. Take the body into the garage, bathroom, or some other room with little furniture. Lay down plastic sheets or dust sheets. These are available in most DIY stores but also online. You will need a cleaver/hatchet and a hacksaw. Cleavers available in supermarkets, hacksaws in DIY stores. The body should preferrably be as fresh as possible: you don't want maggots putting you off your work.
Either wear one of those disposable plastic macintoshes, or else wear a cheap shirt and jeans that can easily be disposed of
If you can, hoist the body up so it is hanging from its feet. This will make butchering easier, but is not compulsory
With a sharp knife, slit the throat from ear to ear, There will initially be a huge spray of blood from the two arteries, but as the flow slows down, it will be much easier to catch the rest in a bucket. An adult can have as much as 7 litres of blood, so this may take a little while. This is why you put up the dust sheets, remember? I would not recommend drinking the blood as there are risks attacked such as the possibility the person had HIV.
Continue with the sharp knife to cut all the way round the neck. The spinal cord, attaching the head to the rest of the body, can be cut with a cleaver, but often just grabbing the head and twisting will do the job fine. Congratulations! You have your first body part! Get 2 bin liners and double wrap it. Put that in your dustbin along with your household rubbish.
Do the same for the other body parts. You will need a cleaver to cut the whole leg into two pieces.
Put the other body parts in the freezer. Then, as the next rubbish collection comes, put another body part in the bin and so on. That way, you will not be found out.
However, If you aren't happy with body parts cluttering up your freezer, you can dispose of them in other ways. The good old dropping a part at a time into a river always works. If you are near a building site, hide parts in concrete: they will never be found. I am giving the easy ways to dispose of a body. Yes, if you are a chemist, you might be able to get hold of HydroFluoric acid to dissolve a body .But I'm not.
When you are done, first of all strip and bag up your clothes. They will have blood. Then go and take a shower. Rinse EVERYWHERE, double wash your hair and so on. Then return. Put your clothes in the washing machine. Then begin bagging up the dustsheets in bags too. Put them, one by one, in the rubbish. When your clothes are cleaned, wash them a second time. Then donate them to a charity - eg Oxfam. So when the police come knocking and examine your clothes, an African kid 4000 miles away is happy, and so are you as all your clothes are fine.
Vacuum the room too. Do NOT clean the whole carpet unless absolutely necessary as the dust sheets had holes: this is a dead giveaway to the police!
Wash your tools several times. Then put the cleaver back in the kitchen drawer, hacksaw in your toolbox. If you never cook, or never do DIY, you will need to dispose of these too. These can be dropped in rivers, or even in public bins so long as you have put them in a sainsburys bag etc first.
Here is a chart of how long it should take you to dispose of the body:
NIGHT ONE - CUTTING UP OF BODY. Head is put in the wheelie bin along with one dust sheet. Other body parts in freezer, clothes washed for first time. Shower
NIGHT TWO - GARBAGE DAY. Head is collected and crushed by the rubbish lorry along with the first dust sheet. You wash your clothes for the second time, and go into the city to, let us say, a park, with two sainsburys bags, one with the hacksaw, one with a cleaver (which have been thoroughly cleaned). Put them in different bins. If stopped by the police, simply explain you are going to do a job at home with them. You aren't waving them around in the open nor are they offensive weapons per se, so you are fine
NIGHT THREE - Take your clothes to Oxfam and donate them.
NIGHT SEVEN - GARBAGE DAY. Both arms, both cut in two, and bagged, are collected by the rubbish men, ditto second rubbish sheet.
If people know you were the last person to see the deceased alive, act fast. Deposit the legs in a skip. However, only do this if time is short. Otherwise, stay calm.
NIGHT 14 - GARBAGE DAY for the legs if optional, otherwise the upper torso and final dust sheet
NIGHT 21 - GARBAGE DAY for the lower torso.
