Read the introduction to a personal statement. Usually, when people talk about "rocky" relationships, it's with a frown, but mine has enriched my life. I became fascinated with rocks when I was really young, and throughout my childhood you could usually find me with my pockets bulging from whatever stony treasures I'd scavenged that day. When my science teacher taught us a unit on geology, I realized that my fascination could become an exciting career that could also help me make good money. Obtaining an internship to work on the geological exhibit at the museum is an important step on my road to being a geologist.

I looked it up online and found the question related to this personal statement. It is the following:

Why does the writer need to revise the personal statement?

A. sentence 1 should include the writer’s first name.

B. sentence 2 should state what the essay prompt was.

C. sentence 3 should avoid mentioning money.

D. sentence 4 should avoid the extreme opinion.

The reason why the writer needs to revise the personal statement is:

C. sentence 3 should avoid mentioning money.

Explanation:

A personal statement is supposed to be a brief description of oneself in connection to the career one wishes to pursue. It should mention one's experience, education, and strengths in relation to that field. However, mentioning money should be avoided. The personal statement is not the "place" to do so. Instead of sounding ambitious in a good way, talking about "good money" - as the writer did in the passage we are analyzing here - may make one sound shallow.

its confident and professional