Can someone read this excerpt from my story over and give thought and feedback? Its for an English paper.

“Meldy, the dragons have attacked Alakatasia. You are one of the only people who can keep them at bay.”
“How?”
“You must learn magic.
“Me? Learn magic? Like, bend the elements at will?”
“Well, it’s more using a certain element to you advantage, but essentially…yes.”
“Are you sure you have the right person?” She asked Anna uncertainly.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’m certain that you are a descendant from the Nirvits, the ones that kept the Dragons at bay.”
“But what about Rose? She seems she would be better at that then me.”
“I already checked she doesn’t bear the Nirvits power. It was unlikely either of you did but somehow you did.
“Melody, Listen to me,” She said putting her hands on Meldy’s shoulders. “You mother died to save you from the Dragons because she knew you would be one of the one’s to protect every else. Don’t let her sacrifice be in vain.
“Alright,” Meldy said after some consideration. “I’ll do whatever it takes to save my people.”
“Great,” Anna said rubbing her hands together. “Let’s get started.
······
“Here is where we will begin our training,” Anna said.
They were now in a grassy field south of Rosemary Village. They were near a river.
“To harness magic and become a mage, you need to be at one with the earth and elements.”
“Huh?” Meldy asked, visibly confused.
“Put simply, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and focus on the sound of the air, the rushing of the river, the feel of the earth, and the crackle of the fire.”
“But there is no fire,” Meldy said, still confused.
“Well, then I just have to make one,” Anna said smiling.
She closed her eyes focusing deeply and then, out of nowhere, a bright flame appeared on her hand. She threw it and created a brightly burning fire.
“Wow,” Meldy said awestruck. “I’ll learn to do that?” She added incredulously.
“Yeah,” Anna said. “If you meditate.”
“And how would I do that?”
“Well, first you-” The rest of her words were drowned out by the bushes around them shaking loudly.
“Get behind me,” She hissed at Meldy. She conjured the fire again.
“Aunt Anna?” An unknown voice was calling out to Anna.
“Aunt Anna?” The voice said again. “Sorry I’m late. I got lost on the way here.”
Anna relaxed. “That’s my niece,” she said to Meldy. “I’m over here,” she yelled to the girl.
A girl with Anna’s same blonde hair and blue eyes stepped out of the bushes.
“This is my niece Wendi,” Anna said to Meldy.
“This is my disciple, Meldy” She said to Wendi.
“Hi,” Wendi said to Meldy. “My real name isn’t Wendi by the way. It’s Winoa Diane, but Aunt Anna calls me Wendi.”
“Hi,” Meldy said to Wendi. “Meldy is also a nickname. It’s short for Melody. But in my case every calls me Meldy not just family.”
“Oh, well then I guess I’ll be the first in a while to call you Melody.”
“If that’s the case I’ll call you Wendi, too.”
“Wendi isn’t the only one joining us today,” Anna said grinning.
“Really, who? Who else bears the Nirvits power?”
“It’s not someone who bears their power,” She said mysteriously.
Wendi and Meldy exchanged curious glances. Why would someone who doesn’t bear their power be coming.

Fifteen-year-old kwan sat on a large boulder on the rocky shore and watched her seven-year-old brother, min, race along the beach close to the water’s edge. the handmade kite, streaming high in the air behind him, created a striking image against the vivid blue sky. occasionally, min called out, “kwan, look at me! i’m flying! i’m flying! ” she beamed and waved at him, urging him on in his glee. she recalled the day her parents first brought home the little bundle from the hospital, the first boy in the family, making her the happiest big sister ever. the family had had a new baby to care for and cherish, and she had a precious little brother to shower with love and attention. min brought joy and delight to the whole household, and his presence completed the family.kwan smiled again as she watched him run along, and she felt great contentment at the pleasure he took in flying the kite they had made together. ever since father had taken min to the korean kite festival, he had begged for a kite of his own. the multicolored dragons, birds, and box kites with their colorful tails and plumes appeared to enchant min as he watched them soar and race in the clear blue sky. he stood mesmerized by the panoply of colors. “someday, i will race a kite in the festival! ” min stated with determination. when min made up his mind that a kite would be the perfect summer project for him and kwan, she was surprised. “i don’t want a kite-making kit,” he informed their father. “i want to build it myself—with kwan’s .” kwan initially wondered why min included her in his quest for a kite, but she quickly realized that her clever brother had correctly surmised that their father would more likely approve the request if min’s big sister were there to him. how could kwan refuse? kwan gazed out at her brother and heard his shrieks of delight as he tried to direct their marvelous flying creation. she watched it wheel, spin, and dive—a wild, colorful bird putting on an aerial display. its gold and red crepe-paper wings fluttered in the air, mimicking the flight of a predatory bird surveying the landscape for prey. it swooped and dived, perhaps discovering a possible meal, and then went airborne again to avoid the rocky terrain below. min was the falconer, guiding his bird on its path through the sky, not yet ready to call it back to the ground. but kwan grew concerned when she looked out at the dark, threatening clouds beginning to roll in off the water. when she saw the streaks of lightning within the cloud formation, she pointed to the distant storm and called out to her little brother to bring in the kite. min nodded and rolled in the kite string, bringing his bird home. “let’s go,” kwan told her brother and put her arm around him to fold him safely under her wing as they both held onto the kite. “it’s time to go home.”how does the author best develop the theme that with determination, one can achieve a goal? a-the author uses an extended metaphor to show how min successfully builds a kite that flies like a colorful bird. b-the author uses a metaphor to compare kwan to a mother bird, protecting her young one from the thunderstorm.c-the author uses imagery to show how the kite mimics a predatory bird under min's careful direction. d-the author uses personification to show how min's kite swoops and dives in the air to avoid the rocks below it.