Lots of ! can someone look at my short essay. it's an alternative ending for lord of the flies, in which some of the boys choose to stay. it's only a draft but i could use some .
ralph crumbled before the naval officer. he asked to climb on the boat and naval officer nodded and him get on. he gestured to the rest of the boys, signaling them to get on. the boys, some of them still crying, stood where they were. a couple of boys tried to walk forward, but jack pointed his spear at them until they backed up. “what’s going on here? ” shouted the naval officer. jack responded, “we want to stay! ” the rest of the hunters started whispering to each other. jack yelled at them to be quiet. “we want to stay! ” jack repeated. “well, i don’t want to stay.” muttered a littlun to himself. a few other boys nodded in agreement. jack and roger turned their backs to ralph and the officer and pointed their spears at the other boys. “i want to stay. there’s food here and no rules. if we go back there won’t be any hunting.” “but the beast is here! ” shouts one of the littluns. “then we’ll kill the beast! ” roger chimed in. a few of the older boys roared in agreement. some of the littluns, including sam and eric, made a run for the boat. jack grabbed sam, and eric made it to the boat, only to realize his brother was taken. he tries to run back, but ralph and the naval officer pick up eric and the rest of the littluns and put them in the boat. eric starts to sob and call out for his brother, sam does too. jack struggles to hold on to sam, but roger grabs onto sam as well, and sam gives up fighting and falls on the beach to cry. they begin to walk back to their camp, sam sobbing the whole way. the naval officer charges after them, telling them to stop. jack spins around, dropping sam and stabbing the naval officer in the back of his knee. the officer screams, and sam sprints to the shore and onto the boat. “fine! ” the naval officer shouts. “stay here then.” he limps back to the boat and comforts the twins, now reunited. he mutters to himself, “how could these boys turn to such savages so quickly? english boys at that.”

Excerpt from 100% - the story of a patriot upton sinclair 10 so peter walked along, with his belt drawn tight, and his restless blue eyes wandering here and there, looking for a place to get a meal. there were jobs to be had, but they were hard jobs, and peter wanted an easy one. there are people in this world who live by their muscles, and others who live by their wits; peter belonged to the latter class; and had missed many a meal rather than descend in the social scale. 11 peter looked into the faces of everyone he passed, searching for a possible opening. some returned his glance, but never for more than a second, for they saw an insignificant looking man, undersized, undernourished, and with one shoulder higher than the other, a weak chin and mouth, crooked teeth, and a brown moustache too feeble to hold itself up at the corners. peters' straw hat had many straws missing, his second-hand brown suit was become third-hand, and his shoes were turning over at the sides. in a city where everybody was "hustling," everybody, as they phrased it, "on the make," why should anyone take a second glance at peter gudge? why should anyone care about the restless soul hidden inside him, or dream that peter was, in his own obscure way, a sort of genius? no one did care; no one did dream. 12 it was about two o'clock of an afternoon in july, and the sun beat down upon the streets of american city. there were crowds upon the streets, and peter noticed that everywhere were flags and bunting. once or twice he heard the strains of distant music, and wondered what was "up." peter had not been reading the newspapers; all his attention bad been taken up by the quarrels of the smithers faction and the lunk faction in the first apostolic church, otherwise known as the holy rollers, and great events that had been happening in the world outside were of no concern to him. peter knew vaguely that on the other side of the world half a dozen mighty nations were locked together in a grip of death; the whole earth was shaken with their struggles, and peter had felt a bit of the trembling now and then. but peter did not know that his own country had anything to do with this european quarrel, and did not know that certain great interests throughout the country had set themselves to rouse the public to action. based on the author's characterization of peter in paragraphs 10, 11, and 12, which word best describes him? a) industrious b) loyal c) patriotic d) poor