Marking brainliest when i can! 30 hi, i need with feedback on this introduction paragraph. review it & answer or comment your feedback. : ) paragraph: should cigarettes really be illegal? well, smoking causes lung cancer, strokes, and many other diseases. smoking is also one of the most preventable deaths in the us. in the us, more than 480,000 deaths occur a year due to cigarettes. smoking should be made illegal for our health. this is just the intro. you!

Here are my suggestions on what you should edit:

Should cigarettes be illegal? Smoking can cause lung cancer, strokes, and many other diseases. Diseases caused from smoking are one of the most preventable in the US. In the States, more than 480,000 deaths occur a year due to smoking related illnesses. Smoking should be made illegal to protect our health.

I changed it up because you need more variety in your diction (wording), and also the phrasing could be slightly improved. When you wrote "In the US, more than 480,000 deaths occur a year due to cigarettes" the phrasing didn't make much sense. You don't die from a cigarette. You die from diseases that are caused from regular smoking.

Hope this helped!

~Just a girl in love with Shawn Mendes

original oratory is a competitive event in the national speech and debate association, stoa usa, national catholic forensic league, and other high school forensic competitions in which competitors deliver an original speech on a subject of their choosing, though the speech must be factual.racial discrimination refers to discrimination against individuals on the basis of their race. policies of racial segregation may formalize it, but it is also often exerted without being legalized and also it means facing injustice.